Gespräche

So in der Art läuft es immer ab.

- "What I see is that my mother and my grandaunt do look alike. - Even more than my mother and my grandmother do. But how come my granndma look so familiar then? Seeing a photograph of her I feel like I have seen her a thousand times when in reality I don't remember having seen her even once. Well, maybe what everyone says is true and I resemble my mother who remsembles her mother. Still I do not recognize my mother's face in mine. 
Maybe what seems so familiar are facial lines I see in the mirror, which I thought to be somewhere from my father's side. 
I don't know. There are just so many things I inherited. Do I look like my maternal grandmother? Do I strongly resemble my father's tyrannic grandfather or do I have my maternal grandfather's kind eyes? 
It's hard to tell who I am."
"Look at this, look at this, look at this!.....Fuck my life!"
- "What the hell?"
- "Everytime I touch the scars on my arm there is this pain in my guts. I spend my days either drinking or taking pills...or both...and now I just revealed that I was hurt by this someone's strange behaviour, which I guess to be rejection. Life is not a stupid medal with two sides, it's a fucking Rubik's with an endless number of half solutions."

"Können wir bitte den Teil überspringen, indem ich um Komplimente bettele, offen zeige, dass kleine unwichtige Gesten mich zu einem weinerlichen Mädchen machen und ich der Liebe meines Lebens in deinem Namen einen Heiratsantrag mache? Oder magst du mich dafür zu sehr?"

- "Ich sehe dich als gedemütigte Version deiner selbst."

"I spent the most beautiful night on the worst place I've ever been.

A night that compares to you.

The air smelled like wood, peace and a home that wasn't mine."

"You are the most beautiful thought."

"I am praying that you will hear my heart screaming for you. - It's the only hope I have during this time of desperation."

"A matter of faith:

My head wants to go with my heart

but it can't.- It's torn apart." 

"In der Zukunft schlafen? 

- Wohl eher von der Zukunft erschlagen.

Ich lade mein Leben auf mir ab 

und finde es schwer zu tragen."

- "Wer sagt eigentlich, dass das Leben wertvoll ist?" 

Die Stille war viel erdrückender. Es stimmt wohl was man sagt: 
Taten sprechen lauter als Worte.